Twilight (Audio)

by Stephenie Meyer

read by Ilyana Kadushin

-Twilight Series, Book 1-

(New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2005)

MP3 Audiobook, 176.7 MB, 12.8 Hours, Young Adult Fiction

ISBN: 9780307280909, US$29.99

ABCD Rating: DITCH

“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.”— Genesis 2:17

From the Cover: About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

My Review: So, here we are again: Stephenie Meyer and Twilight. Only this time, it’s the audio edition of Bella and Edward’s love story, and I have to say that I am not as enamored of the story as I was lo those many months ago. I’m not sure if it is the fact that the proverbial shine is off the apple, or if it is the reader, Ilyana Kadushin, but one way or another, it took me 40 days to slog through a twelve hour audiobook, and that has to be some kind of new record for me.

Since I brought up Kadushin, let’s talk about her performance for a little bit. Dreadful is a word that comes to mind. Boring, tedious, pedestrian and uninspired also all jump to the front, as well as all their synonyms. Kadushin sucks all the life and fun out of this book to the point that I am not sure that I want to finish the series in audio format (though I have started the audio edition of New Moon—ah, the things I do for you my small and sporadic readership). There is absolutely nothing redeeming about Kadushin’s reading of Meyer’s book, especially after having listened to Emily Bauer’s inspired reading of Susan Beth Pfeffer’s Life As We Knew It. If Little, Brown and Co. had contracted with Bauer to read this series, then … then there would be something to write home about. Bauer brought Life As We Knew It to ... well ... life and would have done the same to Twilight, however, stuck as we are with Kadushin, I guess the best that we, Loyal Audiobook Listeners, can do is put up with her mundane reading and try to find some joy in the series.

Though, even that is becoming harder and harder to do. Meyer’s obvious lack of writing skill (at least at this juncture in the series … it was her first book, after all, and Meyer is by no stretch of the imagination the Second Coming of Harper Lee) is only accentuated by the reading aloud of the novel. The dialogue falls flat and sounds stilted (though whether that is Meyer’s fault of Kadushin’s is up for debate), the trite phrases and sheer level of genre cheese stand out and the plot seems so contrived and mechanical that I, for one, wondered what I saw in the book in the first place.

Even the characters, who I extolled in my review of the print edition, seemed less vibrant and more artificial—less like real people and more like tropes or clichés created to fill pre-molded roles in the plot; though again, whether that is truly a fault of Meyer’s or more a result of Kadushin’s dreadful performance is up for considerable debate, and given my reaction to the novel in October 2007, I’d tend to side on it being the fault of Kadushin, and not necessarily a defect of Meyer’s writing, flawed though it may be.

I don’t know that I would even say that this is an audiobook for diehard fans only, because I believe (knowing a few diehard fans as I do) that even the most ardent Twilighter (did I just coin a new phrase?) would be dismayed and disheartened by Kadushin’s performance (and at least one Twilighter I know was). So, unless you absolutely have to hear Twilight read aloud, give this audiobook a wide berth and go back to the print edition. Your fandom will thank you for it.