Unlucky Arithmetic: Thirteen Ways to Raise a Nonreader

Taken from The Smart Bean:

A tongue-in-cheek list by Horn Book’s Dean Schneider and Robin Smith of the thirteen things you absolutely must do if you want your child to be a nonreader. We have replicated this interesting list below - it is certainly one you must heed! NOT!

1. Never Read where your children can see you.
2. Put a TV or computer in every room. Don’t neglect the bedrooms and kitchen.
3. Correct your child every time she mispronounces a word.
4. Schedule activities every day after school so your child will never be bored.
5. Once your child can read independently, throw out the picture books. They’re for babies.
6. Don’t play board games. Too dull.
7. Give little rewards for reading. Stickers and plastic toys are nice. Money is even better.
8. Don’t expect your children to enjoy reading. Kids’ books are for teaching vocabulary, proper study habits, and good morals.
9. Buy only 40-watt bulbs for your lamps.
10. Under no circumstances read your child the same book over and over. She heard it once, she should remember it.
11. Never allow your child to listen to books on tape; that’s cheating.
12. Make sure your kids only read books that are “challenging.” Easy books are a complete waste of time. That goes double for comic books and MAD Magazine.
13. Absolutely, positively no reading in bed.